You cannot think through the hurt of your illness. It is not real; there are remorseless effects; I don't understand why?
It shakes me that you were so much better than me, and I was helpless to assist. Do we believe in heaven as a result of suffering?
I hate existence now. Do you get over it? No, not ever. I warm to rest in the earth with you. I try to carry on without you. You were patient, and caring; and there is always voices that say 'what to do'
They don't work. You must realise that we were cheated by this horrible event.
You smiled, people can offer opinions, but they cannot come close to the reality.

See you soon,

Lots of Love Roy